oook. where to start.

I know, I have been overreacting lately, when it comes to a few persons. I hope you don't take it too personal. On the whole, it's a little complicated. Well, not complicated. Just too much of everything.

There's that thing with work. My family's company got overrun with orders. The last order came from a german costumer. over 1600 pairs of shoes. But of course, he isn't the only one who wants MANY pairs in SHORT time. You know, that's the "christmas-run" where every company comes around, orders a ridiculously high amount of shoes - and they want to have it like, yeah, yesterday, if you know what I mean.

Actually, I really try to be there for others too, rpg or whatever. But it becomes tricky. Lately I work on the sewing machine not only during my usual work-shift, but also after work. From 6 pm up to 10. In the last days, I woke up at 5:45, gulped down Tea or coffee and started sewing again - at 6 am. My usual work shift starts at 7:30 am.

I feel betrayed. My parents know that I'd love to work as a graphic designer and also say stuff like "Go and look for a job". What hypocrites. They know that I would feel guilty for letting them hang down. A few homeworkers also quit their job and we have to do it by ourselves. It also happens that I work on weekends. Yay...

To say it short, I'm very stressed out, can't sleep, I'm easily irritated and my body suffers too, not only my psyche. My skin is scratched open and bleeds. And don'T ask about my stomach. Yesterday I threw up blood and went to hospital. It's erosive gastritis. They told me to "relax" and keep stress away from me. I mean, wtf? It kinda feels like "burn-out", but I don't believe into this kind of disease. That stuff just got a new name, like borderline. Tsk.

In the end... if people might wonder why I don't talk to them or reacted pissed over a small matter, now you know. It's not an excuse, but yeah, there are things I can't stand. Usually I shut my trap about it and smile over my anger. this time, it didn't quite work. My gastritis told me already >>; that's what I'd call "imploding"? Well, throwing up blood is never fun I guess.

I think I'll be more like "afk" for a while. The christmas-business goes on until 23rd Dec. Maybe I'll have more time afterwards. We'll see.

Maybe there's already someone who might be glad about my absence... just got that feeling that someone doesn't appreciate me too much lately. So, here's your part too cheer about it.

As for requests and art trades, I will finish them, when I have a bit of free time. Alphares' art trade is done, I'm working on the arctic fox cub next. After that I'll rework 's pic of Mata. It goes slow, but I'll do it. In the end, I owe her.

sorry and thanks for your understanding.

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